15 Things You Can Do to Help Fight Global Warming

15 Things You Can Do to Help Fight Global Warming


(A poster in a bookstore–$16.95.  If I put it up in my kitchen, is that another one?)


Heads too large, and eyes too wide,
they crowd the fringes of a smiling sun.
A woman hangs her clothes on the line to dry,
and groups of children bicycle happily to nowhere.
Grandma helps Grandpa plant a tree,
while a man of some vague kind of color
is enthusiastically checking his tire pressure.
And everywhere, people are replacing light bulbs…

Thirteen: Try to think of as many novel ways to sequester carbon as possible. For example, old cereal boxes filled with wood chips can make an attractive and colorful display on an unused shelf. What if instead of taking your grass clippings to the curb, you just put them in your basement? Does the shredded tissue paper in the bottom of your pocket or purse REALLY need to be cleaned out? Don’t be afraid to be creative!

Fourteen: Invite your friends to a climate-change party, and offer a prize to the guest who can can catch the most methane molecules between their fingers. Collect the methane in carefully sealed bags, then mail it to the moon.


In 2007,
The former Junior Senator from the State of Illinois said
We can’t
solve global warming
because I fucking changed
the light bulbs in my house
It’s because of
something collective.

Now this was not
widely reported,
because the news media
did not want
to offend their audience
by repeating the word

but say what you will
about the man
who while forty-thousand people
marched their cardboard hearts
around the White House,
was golfing
in Florida
with a couple of oil and gas executives,
he was right about this:

In These Benighted States of America
we ain’t doin’ no fifteen things.
As long as half of the people
and half of the Congress
believe the lie
that it’s all a hoax
created by a conspiracy
involving Al Gore, and every scientist on the planet,
and Barack Obama’s Muslim Terrorist Socialist Kenyan grandmother
to take away their cars and their guns and their light bulbs—

we’re not going anywhere
but down.

So let me offer you one thing,
just one:

We can stop.

We can breathe.

We can listen,
if not to the Great Father in Washington
then to the One Mother
of us all.

We can walk that path
along the river;
down into the old woods,
to where the big basswood
blew over in that storm.
Collect the inner bark
like the Senecas did
and twist it into strands
like fine dark  hair;
plait the strands into braids,
then the braids to a rope,
strong and soft and supple,
then go find a man
named murdoch or koch
and use it to string him up
by his balls

—Steve Paisley, 2013


Note:  the Barack Obama quote is as reported in the Newsweek 2008 Special Election Project (link).


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